I know I haven’t posted in a while, and I’m sorry for this. Obviously, due to the title, you will be able to tell that this post is not book related in the slightest. This is more of a personal post, but also something that I thought a lot of people would be interested in.
On Monday, I went to the doctor’s surgery because since my Godmother died three years ago, I have been suffering with panic attacks and anxiety problems. If you don’t know what anxiety is, then basically it is a mental disorder where you are constantly afraid of what others think about you, and it also makes you quite a shy person. When I say shy, I don’t mean “doesn’t talk very much” kind of shy, I mean “scared of talking to people” kind of shy.
I told my doctor that I can’t do simple things such as answering questions in class, knocking on a door, speaking on the telephone or expressing my opinion. Often, when I am in a situation in which I have to do these things, I feel very anxious and I start to worry a lot. Worst case scenarios go through my head, I start to shake, my breathing gets really fast or really slow and I start to panic a little bit. Sometimes, this happens on a larger scale, in which I start to get pins and needles in my hand and feet, I get really bad headaches and I start to cry. This is called a panic attack.
A panic attack is basically when your body thinks it is in a dangerous situation, and a panic attack is your body’s way of trying to protect you. Adrenalin gets pumped around your body, and your brain goes into ‘fight or flight’ mode. This is basically just your brain either trying to fight the situation or trying to run away from it. I suffer with these a fair amount.
Most people are quite lucky in the fact that they will never have a panic attack in their life, or they will only have a couple. I, on the other hand, am the car on the street who’s alarm goes off from a gust of wind. All the other cars’ alarms only go off when somebody is trying to smash the window.
I suppose the point in this post if to inform people who don’t have anxiety what anxiety is, and to let people who do have anxiety know that they are not alone in this. You have to remember that there are other people in the world who have this disorder and can help if, if you are brave enough to ask for help. I know firsthand that asking for help is not an easy thing to do, as it took me 3 years to finally go and see the doctor.
All you people with anxiety or self-esteem issues or eating disorders or whatever, you people have to remember that you are smart, you are kind and you are important (reference from ‘The Help’). Nobody can tell you that you are ugly, or fat, or stupid or worthless or any of that because you are amazing and brilliant and unique and you will impact the world in a great way if you truly believe in yourself. You will achieve great things in your life if you seek help for you problems, and you will be able to live happily without a care in the world. If. You. Believe.
I know this has been a rambly and corny post but I believe every single word of it will help at least one person. If I have helped just one of you I will be so happy that I have been able to aid you.
Anxiety is a real problem. Please, please, please don’t ignore it.